You, dear male reader, are totally not one of those men. I know this, and I appreciate it. I really do. But here’s where all this victimy girl shit concerns you:
* every time you don’t tell your buddies it’s not okay to talk shit about women, even if it’s kinda funny;
* every time you roll your eyes and think “PMS!” instead of listening to why a woman’s upset;* every time you call Ann Coulter a tranny cunt instead of a halfwit demagogue;
* every time you say any woman–Coulter, Michelle Malkin, Phyllis Schlafly, Condoleezza Rice, Hillary Clinton, Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, any of us–”deserves whatever she gets” for being so detestable, instead of acknowledging there are things that no human being deserves and only women get;
* every time you joke about how you’ll never let your daughter out of the house or anywhere near a man, ’cause ha ha, that’ll solve everything;
* every time you say, “I don’t understand why thousands of women are insisting this is some kind of woman thing”;
* every time you tell a woman you love she’s being crazy/hysterical/irrational, when you know deep down you haven’t heard a word she’s said in the past 15 minutes, and all you’re really thinking about is how seeing her yell and/or cry is incredibly unsettling to you, and you just want that shit to stop;
* every time you dismiss a woman as “playing the victim,” even if you’re right about that particular woman…
You are missing an opportunity to help stop the bad guys.
You’re missing an opportunity to stop the real misogynists, the fucking sickos, the ones who really, truly hate women just for being women. The ones whose ranks you do not belong to and never would. The ones who might hurt women you love in the future, or might have already.
‘Cause the thing is, you and the guys you hang out with may not really mean anything by it when you talk about crazy bitches and dumb sluts and heh-heh-I’d-hit-that and you just can’t reason with them and you can’t live with ‘em can’t shoot ‘em and she’s obviously only dressed like that because she wants to get laid and if they can’t stand the heat they should get out of the kitchen and if they can’t play by the rules they don’t belong here and if they can’t take a little teasing they should quit and heh heh they’re only good for fucking and cleaning and they’re not fit to be leaders and they’re too emotional to run a business and they just want to get their hands on our money and if they’d just stop overreacting and telling themselves they’re victims they’d realize they actually have all the power in this society and white men aren’t even allowed to do anything anymore and and and…
I get that you don’t really mean that shit. I get that you’re just talking out your ass.
But please listen, and please trust me on this one: you have probably, at some point in your life, engaged in that kind of talk with a man who really, truly hates women–to the extent of having beaten and/or raped at least one. And you probably didn’t know which one he was.
And that guy? Thought you were on his side.

Source: http://kateharding.net/2007/04/14/on-being-a-no-name-blogger-using-her-real-name/

Gloria Steinem

I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career.

"I don't steal nothing but a b****'s mind"

My sister got Netflix recently, and I've been watching a lot of the online documentaries, and today I watched American Pimp. I had my ideas of what a pimp was, most of which I thought was a stereotype, but, I soon found out that those stereotypes were true. After a while I was laughing. Laughing, because these men have made this lifestyle a reality. They are not fictional characters from 1970s movies, but they are fulfilled stereotypes. They are men who control women and use them for money.

Some quotes...

• [In reference to how much money their prostitutes make]"0% percentage...life ain't fair...you know what I'm sayin'"

"It's exciting for her [to make a lot of money]....because it's us against the world"

"B asked me if she could take Mother's Day off...I said for what...yeah, she got a baby...so what...she got a pimp to pay too"


According to a prostitute: "It doesn't matter how special you think you are to them, because you're not."

"Anybody who exploits women for profit could be called a pimp"

"A pimp is somebody who lives off the earnings of what a woman does"

The documentary seemed almost like a glorification of the lifestyle. There was not a lot of questioning of the pimp's beliefs, more of a you tell us how it is. The biggest stereotype that I think most of these pimps met, were the clothing. The alligator suits, shoes, jewelry, gold teeth, hats, etc., and each each had catchy phrases and lines they used.

The pimps spoke highly of the mentor/mentee relationships they had built over time with older pimps. Since women are they product, they don't believe in unnecessary abuse, but just enough to keep the prostitutes in line. There were a wide array of pimps from all areas of the US. Since there was a variety of pimps, as a viewer, I became informed on how prostitutes have to learn to be most productive in different areas. For example, in Hawaii, a prostitute must be proactive because she cannot stand on a corner, she must walk constantly and not be a [and I quote] lazy bitch. Whereas in Las Vegas it would be simpler for her to get a trick by standing on the street corning.

It's almost surreal to me that I spent about an hour and a half of my life watching this documentary, and almost surreal to me that this is their truth.

The Deadly Toll of Abortion by Amateurs

I was reading this article from the New York Times, and it caught my eye. I think because of the recent murder of Dr. Tiller, who I knew nothing about until his murder. The article pertains to abortions in African, Tanzania, specifically. It basically covers how unprofessional abortions are dangerous.

In Tanzania, abortion is illegal, nonetheless, women still seek the procedure. The article quotes a Dr. Bdoe frequently who is over a clinic in a city called Berega. Women come to his clinic to fix issues that have been caused due to botched abortions. He states that "the steady stream of cases reflects widespread ignorance about contraception. Young people in the region do not seem to know much or care much about birth control or safe sex."

The article continues to say that "in most countries the rates of abortion, whether legal or illegal — and abortion-related deaths — tend to decrease when the use of birth control increases."

Although the article highlighed abortion in developing countries, I find that in and out of context, the quotes can be applied to the United States. In South Carolina public schools are only allowed to teach abstinence, which obviously does not work. Instead of adapting with the times, sex education does not advance with the idea that young people are actively, and often times ignorantly having sex. When I say ignorantly, I mean young people are having sex without recognizing the consequences or how to prevent unwanted consequences that do not suite the lifestyle they are hoping/wanting to lead. I honestly believe that by providing accuarate information, choice (I prefer option), and education (because that can never be taken from an individual) unwanted pregnancy, specifically with teenagers, can be decreased. Barak Obama said in his commencement at Notre Dame that we need to "work together to reduce the number of women seeking abortions by reducing unintended pregnancies, and making adoption more available, and providing care and support for women who do carry their child to term." To meet that goal, contraception and education would be a good start.

In South Carolina, as of September 2006, there were 25,860 pregnancies in girls under the age of 20, and out of those pregnancies, 6000 ended in abortion.
U.S. Teenage Pregnancy Statistics
National and State Trends and
Trends by Race and Ethnicity
Guttmacher Institute

For Colored Girls who have Considered Suicide When the Rainbow is Enuf

lady in blue
one thing i dont need
is any more apologies
i got sorry greetin me at my front door
you can keep yrs
i dont know what to do wit em
they dont open doors
or bring the sun back
they dont make me happy
or get a mornin paper
didnt nobody stop usin my tears to was cars
cuz a sorry

i am simply tired
of collectin
i didnt know
i was so important toyou'
i'm gonna haveta throw some away
i cant get to the clothes in my closet
for all the sorries
i'm gonna tack a sign to my door
leave a message by the phone
'if you called
to say yr sorry
call somebody
else
i dont use em anymore'
i let sorry/didnt meant/& how cd i know abt that
take a walk down a dark & musty street in brooklyn
i'm gonna do exactly what i want to
& i wont be sorry for none of it
letta sorry soothe yr soul/i'm gonna soothe mine

For Colored Girls who have Considered Suicide When the Rainbow is Enuf

lady in green

now why dont you put me back & let me hang out in my own self

Brave New Voices--Alysia Harris

Very powerful.

Pope, in Africa, Says Condoms Aren't the Way to Fight H.I.V.

This video (link below) takes on the point that the Pope is against condoms, but Jesus would be fine with them. I think it is a hot topic, and it all depends on individual beliefs and personal values.

http://appetiteforequalrights.blogspot.com/2009/04/jesus-vs-pope.html

Suffragette

I was watching Mary Poppins over the weekend, and before it really started I blurted to my sister "Mrs. Banks is a suffragette!" I think I was a bit too happy about that, but, I love watching children's movies and seeing things that I didn't see as a child.

I found it interesting that Michael and Ellen are some of the worst behaved kids and their mother is a feminist. I asked myself in 1964 was Disney trying to say that feminist mummy=out of control children. Hence the point of the movie, Mary Poppins had to come in and turn their behavior around, the family dynamic, etc.

Mrs. Banks is also very wishy-washy. She believes in women's rights but always lets Mr. Banks overshadow her and make the "important" decisions. His ego is more important than her beliefs which are crucial enough for her to sing a song about. I find it interesting that although Mr. Banks literally spends 3 minutes with his kids a day (do the math, it's in his first song), and shooes them off whenever they enter the room, he is able to make choices for them and the family. Family roles...not always the best idea ever created.

Nonetheless, I love me some Mary Poppins.

Van crashes in Midtown; kills pregnant woman driver allegedly attempted to flirt with

Unnecessary catcalling gone wrong.

The Club

Last night some friends and I went to Purple Tree on the market. As much as I like to have fun, I don't always like the message in the music. It's a constant struggle that I have between my morals and fun. Although, it seems like it would be an easy pick, it isn't.

All night long my friends and I listen to songs with lines like...

"Sucking on my titties like you wanted me..."
SIDEBAR: It's usually what happens when the song comes on. Guys think they have the right to your body, meaning they believe they can touch wherever they please. Most have the audacity to become upset whenever you divert their hands or walk away.

"You want this money, then you gotta be a bad bitch
Shake that ass from the tip if you a bad bitch
Drop it down to the floor if you a bad bitch"

"Blow my whistle bitch"

Then...the DJ put on a song that had a woman singing something along the lines of ...
"I don't want a man with a short dick"
With a catchy beat and all I might add. But instantaneously, the mood in the club changed. Guys became uncomfortable and stopped dancing with girls, they completely lost interest.

I find it humorous that for a short time they were uncomfortable and uneasy. The majority of the music in the club in someway objectifies women, but we continue to dance to it. There are times when certain songs come on and I will not dance, but imagine if every female did that, who would the guys dance with? Certainly not themselves, since I know, and I'm sure you know that heterosexual guys have a tendency to stray away from demonstrating any characteristics of a homosexual. (When I say "characteristics of homosexual[s]" I don't mean any stereotypes, but I mean, for example, kissing one another. Girls do that a lot, although it doesn't necessarily mean they are lesbians...that is what lesbians do. I hope that makes sense.)

Anyway, back to the point. The guys stopped dancing. They had been objectified. It was like they couldn't perform (no parallel intended to sex...but then again yes). Females who hear and listen to objectifying music continuously are expected to dance and participate. Whenever we may refuse, then something is wrong with us, when in actuality, it may just be you. If we don't want you touching us or have to listen to you moaning...then that should be okay.

There are plenty of arguments and view points that could pursue when it comes to women, dancing, and sexuality, but in this instance, this is what I saw and is my reality.

Respectability

I just got back from a speech on women and the role they play in this whole Iraq situation, etc.
I'm not sure that I was paying attention to all of it, I got the general idea of what she was trying to say, but...this is what I did catch and hold on to.

Women in all societies strive to have and keep respectability. In actuality respectability is in the eye of the beholder. As a woman, you can fill social norms and expectations so that you can be respectable, but in actuality, you have no control over it. Women are concerned with the decisions they make that may jeopardize their respectability with others in their society.

So what I take from that...
There can be a plethora of things I want to do/be/enjoy, but because society (i.e. THE MAN...he he) may view me as disrespectful (or enter any other negative word that may refer to women) I cannot do it. In order to stay in a positive light, I must please those around me, even if that means sacrificing some of myself or what I believe in to do so.

I feel as if I can think of how this idea impacts women's lives negatively, and can limit freedoms.
1.sexuality
2.career
3.relationships/marriage
4.children (or the lack there of)
5.religion

Unisex

My name, Tristan, is a unisex name. I don't think that was my parents intentions, but that's just how it happened. The person that I have become (including my lean toward feminism....or outright feminism) allows me to appreciate the the unisexiness of my name.

like that? unisexiness. ha.

Continuing...

Apparently (according to an individual who I had the privilege of "listening" to today) there are only boy names and girl names. Those names should stick to those sexes, and it's humorous when girls have boy names.

The craziness of the idea of a unisex name blows her mind, apparently.

Although it seems petty, the idea of unisex names intrigues me.
I find that if you are a female, it has the possibility of getting you under the radar when it comes to applying for certain things.

The mentality of believing in only boy names and girl names tends to mean you have a mentality of other gender specifics that only hinder gender roles in society.

As a future educator I find that we have the power to influence students, and when one believes in strict gender specifics it impacts the classroom. It leads to projects/assignments geared to solely girls/boys and limitations. (i.e. "you can't do that because you are [insert gender here]..."

4-inch heels....

"My feet hurt [because I'm wearing four inch heels and have been walking around the mall for quite sometime now] can you just bring the car around?"

Boyfriend: "No, you just gotta break them in. [and I can say this because I'm wearing my nice, warm, and comfortable Nike Dunks]"

Oh the irony.

Hey...Let me burn a cross into your arm

The same ole argument over evolution and creationism.

This is an undated picture, and it is figured that the teacher, John Freshwater, has been teaching religion in his classes for some time. It is only recent that complaints have been filed, and the students burned have come forward.

The town in Ohio are split between the issue. "Some residents consider him a courageous fighter for religious freedom. Others say he has brazenly violated the church-state divide."

"Freshwater told investigators he simply was trying to demonstrate the device on three to eight students and described the images an ''X'' not a cross. But pictures show the images depict a cross, the report said.
Investigators also found that at least one school administrator dealt with complaints about Freshwater for much of her 11 years at the district."

Here's what I think...

Freshwater...who has been fired, should also NEVER be allowed to teach in the United States of America EVER again. The matter is not his poor decision to teach religion in a PUBLIC school, it's also a matter of assault. Who should trust their child with someone who believes it's legit to BURN students?

Public school is not meant for religious purposes. If you have an issue with teaching solely science in a public school...then maybe you should begin your own institution or teach at a private school.

As a future teacher, it makes me sick to see individuals in Freshwater's position make decisions as he has done. He violated those students' rights!

Maybe it's just me, but I see nothing right about what he's done.

Ohio town split over teacher accused of preaching

Prejudice that kills.

I discovered GLAAD today while watching the awards show.

There was a segment on Sean Kennedy who was killed by a drunk individual (a bigot, some may say), named Stephen Moller.

Considering that I live in South Carolina, I have had experience with people who do not posses the most open of minds. Although I am not from Greenville, Sean Kennedy's death seems to be a representation of a state that I often wish to disown and leave. The loss of his life is proof and reasoning as to why I hope not spend the rest of my life in South Carolina. Bigotry is unfortunately everywhere, but South Carolina is a unique creature.

From what I read, both Kennedy and Moller were out the night of Kennedy's death. Moller punched Kennedy so hard that he broke facial bones, when his head hit the pavement he consequently suffered from severe/fatal brain damage. Moller plead guilty to involuntary manslaughter. His possible life sentence in prison was reduced to three years in prison and three years probation after his release. I read on the webpage Elke Kennedy (Sean's mother) has created that he will most likely be up for parole within 10 months. The sentence was reduced because the jury (who possibly lacks brain cells and maybe moral fiber) saw no "malicious intent" in his actions.

If South Carolina had a hate crime legislation on the books Moller would have received a harsher sentenced. There are five states that do not have hate crime legislation: South Carolina, Arkansas, Indiana, New Mexico, and Wyoming.

Check out the links below.

Stephen Moller gets three years in Sean Kennedy's death at club

Human Rights Watch: U.S. LAW AND INTERNATIONAL HUMAN RIGHTS STANDARDS

National News: GLAAD Helps Pitch Story of Sentencing of Man who killed Sean Kennedy

GLAAD: Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation

Tat it up...Colbert Style!

Wow! Dedicación!

18 holes and relentless sexism

I attempt to read an article off of nytimes.com once a day. I'll browse the page, and what catches my eye, is what I'll read first. Today it was "Women Battle for Rights at Phoenix Country Club." I was interested because, I will admit, I have a slight tendency to make presumptions about the "type" of people that are members of country clubs. My presumptions usually lead to prejudices. Not something I am proud of, but its the truth.

Basically, what I am saying is, I'm not remotely surprised that the women in a country club don't have equal rights to men within the country club.

At the country club there are two grill rooms. The one for the men is opened all the time with a bar. The grill room for women isn't opened all the time, therefore women cannot eat when they please, and there is no bar. Men who have sense, and decided to bring their wives into the the men's grill room have been harassed, and their property defaced.

"As teenage boys saunter into the sumptuously appointed men’s grill room, their mothers are relegated to the ladies’ grill, down the hall with a hot plate, some card tables and no bar. The club also has a formal dining room, where men and women are welcome, but it is closed between meals and is not a spot to get a drink."

Due to pressure the country club is making renovations to the dining room (where the women are able to eat with the men...did I mention THIS IS RIDICULOUS) and the two grill rooms. The grill rooms will remain separate, but will have the same accommodations. *cough* This sounds a little something like "separate but equal," and we all know IT DOES NOT WORK.

This has to be one of the most archaic institutions that I thought did not exist anymore. I mean we all know they are out there, but to think people are so avid about keeping men and women separate, while men obviously have the upper hand.

"Charges of sexism against private golf clubs are not uncommon; the Augusta National Golf Club in Georgia, where the Masters is held each year, does not permit women to be members."

McCain has ties to the county club. *insert unsurprised face* Although he is not a member, his son Andrew McCain is one.

You can read the article by using the below link.
Cozy Spot to Eat After Golf, but Women Are Barred

H.I.V. tests for everyone

The healthcare professionals of New York are instituting an ambitious plan to have all adult citizens in the Bronx tested within the next three years. The test will be administered regularly alongside other visits to the hospital/emergency room. The Bronx has the highest number of death due to the socioeconomic aspects of the people living in the borrough. Manhatten has a higher number of infections, but lower number of deaths.

"AIDS killed 357 residents of the borough in 2006, about a third of all AIDS deaths in the city."

Basically, if you are interested, you should read the article. The statistics are interesting and I think it will be interesting to see the progress the project makes.

Since HIV/AIDS is not an issue just in the US I looked up some other stats. According to this website Swaziland has the highest adult prevalance rate of HIV/AIDS. It continues to show the other percentages and other countries in comparison.

Pussycat Dolls advocate Feminism...

I was watching an episode of So You Think You Can Dance with my sister, and the Pussycat Dolls performed. I personally believe they have very little talent, but that simple fact is disguised by their "costumes" and the body seizures that last the entire "performance." A perfect example would be the video below.

I cannot get the video to show up, so use this as your clip.

I also might note that if you turn the volume down, they could pass as strip show.

The video is 2 minutes and 32 seconds of torture, and I would NOT wish it on my worst enemy.

Since they paint their clothes on, the song sucks, and they as an entirety have no talent, my sister and I were automatically intrigued. We immediately began to do our research on this group (we were also bored, and had NOTHING else to do). We were lead to http://www.pcdmusic.com/. The sight is full of surprises and goodies, including their bios, their ages, relationship status, and of course, zodiac sign. There are also overpriced Pussycat Doll paraphernalia.

Our favorite part was when we discovered that the song "Dont Cha" --'dont cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me'--is meant to be "empowering." A Pussycat Doll should be "hot" but also be able to say something with "real feeling."

I will admit I have a song or two on my ipod, but yesterday was just humorous for me when it came to the Pussycat Dolls. Feminism does come in a plethora of ways, and I suppose the Pussycat Dolls just bring an intersting side to it all. Who am I to judge...eek!