You, dear male reader, are totally not one of those men. I know this, and I appreciate it. I really do. But here’s where all this victimy girl shit concerns you:
* every time you don’t tell your buddies it’s not okay to talk shit about women, even if it’s kinda funny;
* every time you roll your eyes and think “PMS!” instead of listening to why a woman’s upset;* every time you call Ann Coulter a tranny cunt instead of a halfwit demagogue;
* every time you say any woman–Coulter, Michelle Malkin, Phyllis Schlafly, Condoleezza Rice, Hillary Clinton, Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, any of us–”deserves whatever she gets” for being so detestable, instead of acknowledging there are things that no human being deserves and only women get;
* every time you joke about how you’ll never let your daughter out of the house or anywhere near a man, ’cause ha ha, that’ll solve everything;
* every time you say, “I don’t understand why thousands of women are insisting this is some kind of woman thing”;
* every time you tell a woman you love she’s being crazy/hysterical/irrational, when you know deep down you haven’t heard a word she’s said in the past 15 minutes, and all you’re really thinking about is how seeing her yell and/or cry is incredibly unsettling to you, and you just want that shit to stop;
* every time you dismiss a woman as “playing the victim,” even if you’re right about that particular woman…
You are missing an opportunity to help stop the bad guys.
You’re missing an opportunity to stop the real misogynists, the fucking sickos, the ones who really, truly hate women just for being women. The ones whose ranks you do not belong to and never would. The ones who might hurt women you love in the future, or might have already.
‘Cause the thing is, you and the guys you hang out with may not really mean anything by it when you talk about crazy bitches and dumb sluts and heh-heh-I’d-hit-that and you just can’t reason with them and you can’t live with ‘em can’t shoot ‘em and she’s obviously only dressed like that because she wants to get laid and if they can’t stand the heat they should get out of the kitchen and if they can’t play by the rules they don’t belong here and if they can’t take a little teasing they should quit and heh heh they’re only good for fucking and cleaning and they’re not fit to be leaders and they’re too emotional to run a business and they just want to get their hands on our money and if they’d just stop overreacting and telling themselves they’re victims they’d realize they actually have all the power in this society and white men aren’t even allowed to do anything anymore and and and…
I get that you don’t really mean that shit. I get that you’re just talking out your ass.
But please listen, and please trust me on this one: you have probably, at some point in your life, engaged in that kind of talk with a man who really, truly hates women–to the extent of having beaten and/or raped at least one. And you probably didn’t know which one he was.
And that guy? Thought you were on his side.

Source: http://kateharding.net/2007/04/14/on-being-a-no-name-blogger-using-her-real-name/

"I don't steal nothing but a b****'s mind"

My sister got Netflix recently, and I've been watching a lot of the online documentaries, and today I watched American Pimp. I had my ideas of what a pimp was, most of which I thought was a stereotype, but, I soon found out that those stereotypes were true. After a while I was laughing. Laughing, because these men have made this lifestyle a reality. They are not fictional characters from 1970s movies, but they are fulfilled stereotypes. They are men who control women and use them for money.

Some quotes...

• [In reference to how much money their prostitutes make]"0% percentage...life ain't fair...you know what I'm sayin'"

"It's exciting for her [to make a lot of money]....because it's us against the world"

"B asked me if she could take Mother's Day off...I said for what...yeah, she got a baby...so what...she got a pimp to pay too"


According to a prostitute: "It doesn't matter how special you think you are to them, because you're not."

"Anybody who exploits women for profit could be called a pimp"

"A pimp is somebody who lives off the earnings of what a woman does"

The documentary seemed almost like a glorification of the lifestyle. There was not a lot of questioning of the pimp's beliefs, more of a you tell us how it is. The biggest stereotype that I think most of these pimps met, were the clothing. The alligator suits, shoes, jewelry, gold teeth, hats, etc., and each each had catchy phrases and lines they used.

The pimps spoke highly of the mentor/mentee relationships they had built over time with older pimps. Since women are they product, they don't believe in unnecessary abuse, but just enough to keep the prostitutes in line. There were a wide array of pimps from all areas of the US. Since there was a variety of pimps, as a viewer, I became informed on how prostitutes have to learn to be most productive in different areas. For example, in Hawaii, a prostitute must be proactive because she cannot stand on a corner, she must walk constantly and not be a [and I quote] lazy bitch. Whereas in Las Vegas it would be simpler for her to get a trick by standing on the street corning.

It's almost surreal to me that I spent about an hour and a half of my life watching this documentary, and almost surreal to me that this is their truth.

The Deadly Toll of Abortion by Amateurs

I was reading this article from the New York Times, and it caught my eye. I think because of the recent murder of Dr. Tiller, who I knew nothing about until his murder. The article pertains to abortions in African, Tanzania, specifically. It basically covers how unprofessional abortions are dangerous.

In Tanzania, abortion is illegal, nonetheless, women still seek the procedure. The article quotes a Dr. Bdoe frequently who is over a clinic in a city called Berega. Women come to his clinic to fix issues that have been caused due to botched abortions. He states that "the steady stream of cases reflects widespread ignorance about contraception. Young people in the region do not seem to know much or care much about birth control or safe sex."

The article continues to say that "in most countries the rates of abortion, whether legal or illegal — and abortion-related deaths — tend to decrease when the use of birth control increases."

Although the article highlighed abortion in developing countries, I find that in and out of context, the quotes can be applied to the United States. In South Carolina public schools are only allowed to teach abstinence, which obviously does not work. Instead of adapting with the times, sex education does not advance with the idea that young people are actively, and often times ignorantly having sex. When I say ignorantly, I mean young people are having sex without recognizing the consequences or how to prevent unwanted consequences that do not suite the lifestyle they are hoping/wanting to lead. I honestly believe that by providing accuarate information, choice (I prefer option), and education (because that can never be taken from an individual) unwanted pregnancy, specifically with teenagers, can be decreased. Barak Obama said in his commencement at Notre Dame that we need to "work together to reduce the number of women seeking abortions by reducing unintended pregnancies, and making adoption more available, and providing care and support for women who do carry their child to term." To meet that goal, contraception and education would be a good start.

In South Carolina, as of September 2006, there were 25,860 pregnancies in girls under the age of 20, and out of those pregnancies, 6000 ended in abortion.
U.S. Teenage Pregnancy Statistics
National and State Trends and
Trends by Race and Ethnicity
Guttmacher Institute

For Colored Girls who have Considered Suicide When the Rainbow is Enuf

lady in blue
one thing i dont need
is any more apologies
i got sorry greetin me at my front door
you can keep yrs
i dont know what to do wit em
they dont open doors
or bring the sun back
they dont make me happy
or get a mornin paper
didnt nobody stop usin my tears to was cars
cuz a sorry

i am simply tired
of collectin
i didnt know
i was so important toyou'
i'm gonna haveta throw some away
i cant get to the clothes in my closet
for all the sorries
i'm gonna tack a sign to my door
leave a message by the phone
'if you called
to say yr sorry
call somebody
else
i dont use em anymore'
i let sorry/didnt meant/& how cd i know abt that
take a walk down a dark & musty street in brooklyn
i'm gonna do exactly what i want to
& i wont be sorry for none of it
letta sorry soothe yr soul/i'm gonna soothe mine

For Colored Girls who have Considered Suicide When the Rainbow is Enuf

lady in green

now why dont you put me back & let me hang out in my own self

Respectability

I just got back from a speech on women and the role they play in this whole Iraq situation, etc.
I'm not sure that I was paying attention to all of it, I got the general idea of what she was trying to say, but...this is what I did catch and hold on to.

Women in all societies strive to have and keep respectability. In actuality respectability is in the eye of the beholder. As a woman, you can fill social norms and expectations so that you can be respectable, but in actuality, you have no control over it. Women are concerned with the decisions they make that may jeopardize their respectability with others in their society.

So what I take from that...
There can be a plethora of things I want to do/be/enjoy, but because society (i.e. THE MAN...he he) may view me as disrespectful (or enter any other negative word that may refer to women) I cannot do it. In order to stay in a positive light, I must please those around me, even if that means sacrificing some of myself or what I believe in to do so.

I feel as if I can think of how this idea impacts women's lives negatively, and can limit freedoms.
1.sexuality
2.career
3.relationships/marriage
4.children (or the lack there of)
5.religion

4-inch heels....

"My feet hurt [because I'm wearing four inch heels and have been walking around the mall for quite sometime now] can you just bring the car around?"

Boyfriend: "No, you just gotta break them in. [and I can say this because I'm wearing my nice, warm, and comfortable Nike Dunks]"

Oh the irony.

Tat it up...Colbert Style!

Wow! Dedicación!

18 holes and relentless sexism

I attempt to read an article off of nytimes.com once a day. I'll browse the page, and what catches my eye, is what I'll read first. Today it was "Women Battle for Rights at Phoenix Country Club." I was interested because, I will admit, I have a slight tendency to make presumptions about the "type" of people that are members of country clubs. My presumptions usually lead to prejudices. Not something I am proud of, but its the truth.

Basically, what I am saying is, I'm not remotely surprised that the women in a country club don't have equal rights to men within the country club.

At the country club there are two grill rooms. The one for the men is opened all the time with a bar. The grill room for women isn't opened all the time, therefore women cannot eat when they please, and there is no bar. Men who have sense, and decided to bring their wives into the the men's grill room have been harassed, and their property defaced.

"As teenage boys saunter into the sumptuously appointed men’s grill room, their mothers are relegated to the ladies’ grill, down the hall with a hot plate, some card tables and no bar. The club also has a formal dining room, where men and women are welcome, but it is closed between meals and is not a spot to get a drink."

Due to pressure the country club is making renovations to the dining room (where the women are able to eat with the men...did I mention THIS IS RIDICULOUS) and the two grill rooms. The grill rooms will remain separate, but will have the same accommodations. *cough* This sounds a little something like "separate but equal," and we all know IT DOES NOT WORK.

This has to be one of the most archaic institutions that I thought did not exist anymore. I mean we all know they are out there, but to think people are so avid about keeping men and women separate, while men obviously have the upper hand.

"Charges of sexism against private golf clubs are not uncommon; the Augusta National Golf Club in Georgia, where the Masters is held each year, does not permit women to be members."

McCain has ties to the county club. *insert unsurprised face* Although he is not a member, his son Andrew McCain is one.

You can read the article by using the below link.
Cozy Spot to Eat After Golf, but Women Are Barred

Pussycat Dolls advocate Feminism...

I was watching an episode of So You Think You Can Dance with my sister, and the Pussycat Dolls performed. I personally believe they have very little talent, but that simple fact is disguised by their "costumes" and the body seizures that last the entire "performance." A perfect example would be the video below.

I cannot get the video to show up, so use this as your clip.

I also might note that if you turn the volume down, they could pass as strip show.

The video is 2 minutes and 32 seconds of torture, and I would NOT wish it on my worst enemy.

Since they paint their clothes on, the song sucks, and they as an entirety have no talent, my sister and I were automatically intrigued. We immediately began to do our research on this group (we were also bored, and had NOTHING else to do). We were lead to http://www.pcdmusic.com/. The sight is full of surprises and goodies, including their bios, their ages, relationship status, and of course, zodiac sign. There are also overpriced Pussycat Doll paraphernalia.

Our favorite part was when we discovered that the song "Dont Cha" --'dont cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me'--is meant to be "empowering." A Pussycat Doll should be "hot" but also be able to say something with "real feeling."

I will admit I have a song or two on my ipod, but yesterday was just humorous for me when it came to the Pussycat Dolls. Feminism does come in a plethora of ways, and I suppose the Pussycat Dolls just bring an intersting side to it all. Who am I to judge...eek!

Once, Twice, Three Times a Virgin?

As I was browsing around the New York Times webpage I found an article about restoring virginity, especially in Muslim women.

The article emphasizes the importance of virginity in the Muslim culture. For a woman to have her hyman reinstated, especially a Muslim woman, as mentioned in the article, is a small price to pay for the credibility of her family, and possibly keeping her life.

I was shocked to learn that families actually have the female checked before the wedding night to assure that she is a virgin. Everyone appears to be involved in the sexual life of the married couple, leaving no privacy or room for secrets.

In Europe and in the US, women have fought for (and continue to fight for and justify) the right to control their bodies. Being forced or allowing your partner to pursuade you to have the procedure (for his pleasure) seems to be a step back. It seems to be a regression in the progression of women's rights.

To to each her own.

Revolution

Sarah Jones is a spoken word artist. The video is of a piece of her work called Revolution, that is, as she says, a remix of Gil Scott Heron's, The Revolution Will Not Be Televised.

She says everything that I feel, but could not think to say in such an amazing manner. I can listen to again and again and still enjoy more than the last.