My mom chuckles

and tells me “You’re ridiculous.” when I mention to her how difficult it is for me to make friends. It’s no exaggeration and I’m not being dramatic. I really find it challenging to make/keep friends. Maybe the fact that I cried every night of 9th and 10th grade after changing schools, because I didn’t have any friends, was not a good enough clue for her.

It’s most challenging because off the bat, most people don’t “get” my “humor.” And I say “humor,” because I’m never really quite trying to be funny, I just am. I’m silent a lot of the time (unless I feel like what I’m saying is important), I’m comfortable in silence, if you can join me in that silence, then we can be friends. Hence the issue with keeping friends. I do.not.like.talking on the telephone.

I’m not the most sharing person either, for me to tell you a secret, something serious from what I call a past life, or emotions, I must really trust you. I feel as if I’m giving you a part of myself, I just can’t go doing that all willy nilly. (Is that too serious?)

Other people are more likely to call me their friend before I do the same. It’s not that I don’t like people, I’m just wary of trusting and bringing any kind of person into my life. With that being said, I’m apprehensive about moving and creating a social life. It’s going to be more challenging that starting my new career.