I ain't pushin' an agenda, I'm just pushin' facts.

--Lupe "Diamonds"

Tom DuBois--Let It Burn

"CAR!"

Cornel West interviews Lupe Fiasco 2

I haven't had the opportunity to sit and listen to the entire interview yet. Well, what I should really say, is that I haven't had the opportunity to sit, listen, think, and comprehend. I've only made it to about minute 25, and it's an hour long. So far I've heard some interesting tid bits. The quotes I have below really stuck out to me, but are so much better when in context. It is difficult for me to start from my stopping point, because I feel as if I'm missing the whole message. So I'm sure it is going to take me a good while to get through it. I'll have a Cornel West interviews Lupe Fiasco 3, once I finally finish it, or most likely when I get to minute 40. There's a lot of thought provoking information going on, and I'm trying to listen to it all.

"If I change for the worse, I don't want to be remembered. If I change for the better, I just want to be remembered, he did not lead them astray...My fear is to lead astray, to create the cycle, the butterfly effect of me being the role model, of being the example of you doing wrong. I always say if I tell a lie on a record, and I sell a million records, I've told a million lies...those people ingested that, they internalized it."*

"As you grow to become yourself, you are taught by others. You take on concepts from others, from outside, from without. The things that you hold within are very basic. You have the capacities of mind to process things, but when you process them...you process based on something you've learned from someone else. You start to see that the concept of self, to me, is a corrupted concept."**Lupe Fiasco

As much as I enjoy the idea of change, I don't enjoy the actual change. I enjoy the comfort of all things familiar and routine. I am a creature of habit.

And that, is why I cannot sleep.

Team Hawai'i always makes me think. I really enjoy the pieces that speak about their heritage, because that is another part of history that is frequently left out of lessons.

...

I don't know what to say when referencing my grandmother's belongings.
Or what to say when someone calls from her home, and her name shows up on the caller ID.
Instinctively I want to say that it's her, instead, I hesitate and try to break a 21 year old habit.

Gender Stereotyping

I personally do not like spending extended periods of time around people preparing for marriage or pregnant women. Why? Because that's usually ALL they talk about. Of course, there are exceptions, but my experiences have proven, there are not many.

Today I was out with my mom and we were in this small shop, small enough for me to hear every conversation going on around me. There was a pregnant woman. I feel as if I know too much about her. 1.she's pregnant 2.she's due in a week 3.she hates that Columbia doesn't have cute maternity clothes 4.she's having a boy 5.she's glad that she can find regular clothes that are cute, but loose enough to fit her stomach.....BLAH BLAH BLAH.
Do you see what I mean? It's just too much.

Anyway, she begins to tell the sales associates that she's trying to wait until September 1st. (Question: can pregnant women really do that, you know, hold the baby in? :-?) Why does she want to wait? Well, I'll tell you. She wants to wait because since she's having a boy, September 1st is better for sports deadlines and school. Of course her and her husband are assuming their son will be an avid sports fan/player that is really immature, so he needs to be the oldest in his classes. Never once thinking that "Sammy" may be a sports hater genius who likes frolicking in fields, I mean the possibilities are never ending.
Not to mention she said that if she were having a girl the deadlines wouldn't matter. Why? Because her daughter would hate to get dirty, wear huge obnoxious hair ribbons, and refuse any color but pink.

Gender stereotypes are the pits, and these people, along with millions of others, perpetuate them every freaking day. Treat your son like a lumberjack and your daughter like a princess.

It's been such a long time.

I really like being able to say that I have had some friends for 10 plus years, and I'm only 21. I'm not really one that has tons of friends, acquaintances, yes, but friendships not many. (sidebar: I've been reading up on introversion, and it is shocking how accurate the information is, in reference to me, friendships included.)

I'd say I have three such friends, and fortunately I got to see all of them this weekend.
One got married.


I got to see the other, a friend of 18 years, at her grandmother's 75th birthday celebration.








I don't have a picture to document the other meet up, but, she's that friend that I don't have to speak with everyday, months can go by. Nonetheless, when we do get together, it's like the time never passed.

Good way to end the summer!

Mos Def 8-14-09

"Hip Hop"

Cornel West interviews Lupe Fiasco

I just started listeing to this interview, and I can already tell I'm going to be amazed. Lupe I'm familiar with, but Cornel West is one of those icons that I know I should be familiar with, but am not. It's on my ever growing to do list. *smiles big*

I most definitely will be adding more once I make it all the way through the interview.

Kid Cudi Performing "Day N Nite" in Washington, DC from illvibes on Vimeo.

Goodness.

My pride and lack of grace, supposedly

For the past few months I've been near enamored with the idea of pride. Mine in particular, mostly a silent pride. A silent killer of small aspirations or desires, I could even say. I've found in my 21 years that my pride has helped me become who I am. Yes, in general I am proud of who I am, and I can think of instances in my past where my pride has gotten in my way. Would I exchange or change any of it? No. It's all just a part of my evolution as a person, continuously growing and changing. I do tend to regret decisions and events more than I would like, but eventually I realize that I have learned from the experience. Although I've thought that my pride was not an issue, the more I experience and interact with people, I almost feel as if I should be ashamed or change.

As I was passing a church today I saw a sign that basically said that pride and grace cannot coexist *(pride and grace cannot dwell in the same place). By no means am I an avid church goer or religious individual. I'm not even sure I would go as far as to say that I'm spiritual. I do believe that there is a God, but as of now, I'm turned off by organized religion (another story for another blog, maybe). And when it comes to religion and church, pride is looked down upon. I would love for God to love me, as I have been taught that he does, but, would that be in exchange for my pride?

pride (noun): a high or inordinate opinion of one's own dignity, importance, merit, or superiority; self-respect

grace (noun): favor or goodwill

So I looked up some quotes and this is one of them..."Pride is the presumption that we can be happy without depending on God as the source of our happiness and without caring if others find their happiness in God."

This is totally true. I don't go to church or read the Bible, etc. to be happy. I don't care if other people find happiness in God. I mean if you do, that is GREAT, but it is also your prerogative to not search for that happiness there. I'm hoping that this isn't coming off as anti-everything God related and religious, because that's not what I want at all.

I'm just so torn. Many of the ideals that apply to females in the church I do not support, thus, making it harder for me to embrace other ideas that I feel like will make me seem or feel inferior. I do realize that my pride is about saving facing and avoiding vulnerability, BUT that's safe, and I enjoy safe.

In all seriousness, I wonder if I keep going the way I'm going, will I always be so nonchalant about religion. Ultimately, I'm most afraid that my pride will push people away, because they won't get me, mostly because I won't allow it. Will my pride always prevent me from seeing the importance of grace? Will my pride keep me from compromise? Will my pride make me increasingly stubborn?

Somehow in my mind, these thoughts make sense, but I know in reality, this post isn't enough to completely explain where I'm coming from.

All I ask is to keep my dignity.

*added exact quotation

To quote Kanye

These past few months I have had a lot of free time, and during that free time you could probably catch me doing one of the following, possibly at the same time.
1. watching tv 2.on the internet (facebook, blogger, tumblr, nytimes, etc)3.playing SIMS, almost obsessively 3. laying on the couch.

I have actually spent so much time on the computer, that I've had to wear my glasses significantly more. Anyway. Point being I've been on the internet, reading blogs...A LOT....on A LOT of different things, but I've found that people LOVE to talk about LOVE. They enjoy talking about the idea of it, the presence of it, concretely, abstractly, etc etc blah blah. I like to say I'm idealistically realistic, and basically, people are going to come and go in your life, meaning you must prepare yourself for hellos and goodbyes. I've always been of the mindset that everything must come to an end. I repeat again, re-al-is-tic, not pessimistic. (I can't count on both of my hands how many times I've been told I would think differently if I'd actually ever been in love. I beg to differ.)

I've seen so many theories on love it makes my head spin. People want to know that there is someone out there that can relate to them, and by using a blog, there is the opportunity to find millions of people who can relate. I'm not putting down the idea/feeling of love or the consequential happenings, because emotions are a CRAZY thing. Nonetheless, with today's culture of instant and continuous communication, it allows everyone to voice their opinions...or feelings that is (for example...). And ultimately, I've become a sucker, reading it every time I get a chance.

All this heartache I've been reading about is summed up into what Kanye said, "we weren't meant to be, we just happened."

*insert my hypocritical realization, borderline face of shame here*
*shrug*

You, dear male reader, are totally not one of those men. I know this, and I appreciate it. I really do. But here’s where all this victimy girl shit concerns you:
* every time you don’t tell your buddies it’s not okay to talk shit about women, even if it’s kinda funny;
* every time you roll your eyes and think “PMS!” instead of listening to why a woman’s upset;* every time you call Ann Coulter a tranny cunt instead of a halfwit demagogue;
* every time you say any woman–Coulter, Michelle Malkin, Phyllis Schlafly, Condoleezza Rice, Hillary Clinton, Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, any of us–”deserves whatever she gets” for being so detestable, instead of acknowledging there are things that no human being deserves and only women get;
* every time you joke about how you’ll never let your daughter out of the house or anywhere near a man, ’cause ha ha, that’ll solve everything;
* every time you say, “I don’t understand why thousands of women are insisting this is some kind of woman thing”;
* every time you tell a woman you love she’s being crazy/hysterical/irrational, when you know deep down you haven’t heard a word she’s said in the past 15 minutes, and all you’re really thinking about is how seeing her yell and/or cry is incredibly unsettling to you, and you just want that shit to stop;
* every time you dismiss a woman as “playing the victim,” even if you’re right about that particular woman…
You are missing an opportunity to help stop the bad guys.
You’re missing an opportunity to stop the real misogynists, the fucking sickos, the ones who really, truly hate women just for being women. The ones whose ranks you do not belong to and never would. The ones who might hurt women you love in the future, or might have already.
‘Cause the thing is, you and the guys you hang out with may not really mean anything by it when you talk about crazy bitches and dumb sluts and heh-heh-I’d-hit-that and you just can’t reason with them and you can’t live with ‘em can’t shoot ‘em and she’s obviously only dressed like that because she wants to get laid and if they can’t stand the heat they should get out of the kitchen and if they can’t play by the rules they don’t belong here and if they can’t take a little teasing they should quit and heh heh they’re only good for fucking and cleaning and they’re not fit to be leaders and they’re too emotional to run a business and they just want to get their hands on our money and if they’d just stop overreacting and telling themselves they’re victims they’d realize they actually have all the power in this society and white men aren’t even allowed to do anything anymore and and and…
I get that you don’t really mean that shit. I get that you’re just talking out your ass.
But please listen, and please trust me on this one: you have probably, at some point in your life, engaged in that kind of talk with a man who really, truly hates women–to the extent of having beaten and/or raped at least one. And you probably didn’t know which one he was.
And that guy? Thought you were on his side.

Source: http://kateharding.net/2007/04/14/on-being-a-no-name-blogger-using-her-real-name/

Falling Whistles
is a campaign for peace in the Congo.

First News Article I've Read in a Long Time

U.S. journalists return from N. Korea

I should really read the new more often.

"Like a crippled old oak tree, stuck in its ways, afraid that one day, you won't be the last one standing."

I like.